On Words: Counting Down to 2019 with “Allyship, Adulting, and AF”

I had originally thought to write a screed about the idiocy of the words “allyship,” “adulting,” and the use of the abbreviation “AF.” Of course, I actually like that two letter word and find it useful right now on so many levels. The concept of allyship, on the other hand, is simply annoying. It harkens to a political profundity that requires lock-step thinking with reeducation camps. Of course,  by the lack of worldwide reporting,  these camps appear to  not be seen as bad so long as Chinese communists are doing it to 1 million Moslems. Sadly that is also a different story for another day.

In truth,  don’t expect me to ever be an “ally.” Allyship is giving up your ability to decide for yourself how you feel about a tactic, an idea and a program. It’s deciding that others have a right to dictate to you, your every move because you are not of “their group.” No one ever tells me what to think and how to act or function. I think for myself, and seriously despise this latest pc shit storm masquerading as a political movement including marginalized communities, soft racism of low expectations, and intersectional antisemitism. I will always fight the good fight. I have done it for almost 3 decades for my sons.  I dare you to tell me my actions, my ideas, my advocacy is anathema because I am not “one of you.”

On that note, glad to see that the antisemites and Farrakhan fan girls of the Women’s March are finally getting push back, not simply from  Jewish feminists and Jewish member of theLGBTQ community, but from several corners of these movements. These “leaders,” and I use that word loosely, were never feminists and were never inclusive. They hijacked a much needed activism agenda, and actually have destroyed a potentially powerful political movement.

What is sad though, is that it was not until Gentile women started standing up against the antisemitic agenda of the hate filled WM, that anyone of any note decided to take action. I suppose we should be glad that these nonJewish women did speak up, but this also leads me to believe that antisemitism is not considered a problem unless a nonJew says it is a problem. When Jews say it is an issue they are only thought of as spoilers, and kvetches.

And that then leads me to another nonsensical issue, where apparently according to identity politics, only Jews can identify antisemitism. This is ridiculous. There are wonderful Gentiles who fight antisemitism every day. And there are Jews who excuse antisemitism everyday and in fact promote it. Simply having a predisposition to a particular DNA does not make you aware, or cognizant of Jew hatred. It also doesn’t actually mean you are not an antisemitic asshole.  You need to look at a person’s body of work and figure out their endgame before you decide to listen to them. If someone is excusing murdering Jewish children, if someone is denying Jewish history, parlaying antisemitic lies and tropes, then they are antisemites whether  or not they have had a bris.

Now let’s talk about adulting. I actually like that word. Yes, it’s a verb about doing adult like things. Hence, adulting. I think it is very descriptive of reality. It is not easy to adult. Life does not give you everything you want, it doesn’t even give you everything you need. What this means then, is the adult thing to do is to make sure that you can figure out how to survive when life comes at you fast and there are no brass rings to grab. Adulting is simply what we used to call being a grown up. Apparently, that is something that people simply can’t do anymore, so they had to make up a new word for it.

Listen, I know it’s not easy in today’s world. Very few in the millennial generation have it easy. Jobs, good jobs, the jobs you thought about 20 or 30 years ago that you would get when you came out of college and grad school, are not really prevalent anymore.  I have no idea where they are. They are scarce. The ones with benefits, like health insurance are not that easy to find anymore. Sure you can freelance, that is your only option.

It is funny really that the older generation writes that this is a choice of the young. It’s the choice when you have no other options. It’s insulting to think that the younger generation is pleased living with such economic insecurity. It takes the onus off the business owners and power brokers for the mess they have made. Yes, the gig economy is a thing. Again only because you have no other choice, and the “gig” is a 2nd or 3rd job, not your ultimate end goal.

Listen, as you get older, you want security, and money in the bank and a future. But these young people do not see the future the way we did. It doesn’t make them “not adults.” It makes their future harder than what we experienced. So if our offspring don’t adult, or need help adulting, maybe, just maybe we should realize that a lot of the blame should be laid at our own feet for how we let this economy get so out of control. And possibly how we took their future from them.

Using words, like “allyship” and “adulting” to review important areas in the year that have passed is an interesting endeavor. We sometimes need new words to explain the kerfuffle that has become of our society. The “identity politics” so encapsulated by the term “allyship” has made our politics a mess, and the concept of “adulting” that has caused so much angst among the young, is as worrisome AF.

And oh yeah, the AF means “as fuck,” by the way, for those that don’t do modern lingo. It is a modern exclamation point. Which reminds me that there was also a study done this past year that said people that swear are actually the smarter people in the world. Funny that. Growing up we were told swearing showed a lack of intelligence and the inability to use language appropriately.  So going into 2019, we now know that if you swear like a sailor (a stereotype, and I am wondering if that is considered a no-no in our hyper vigilant world of language policing) you really belong in Mensa.

Anyway, here’s to the idea that in the year to come, we humans should think outside the box, create new and interesting language that adds to the societal discourse, not detract from it. Try not separating out people and trying to divide them. Stop insulting people’s intelligence telling them what to think and how to think based upon their DNA, their ethnicity, religion, or  skin color. Give agency to all. Stop making excuses for those who are the most vile, authoritarian, and totalitarian in this world simply because you have an inverted view of the trajectory of human history. 

We are going into the year 2019, not 1984. Big brother isn’t just a screed of the Right, it is also a characteristic of the Left.

Simply stop telling others how to lead their lives. and demanding compliance, so you can feel exonerated about your own choices.

By the way- Have a Happy New Year.




About Elise "Ronan"

#JewishandProud ...#JoyfulNeshama
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